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Spooky Stuff That Won’t Go Away Because You Like to Pretend it’s Not Happening

Mostly True Information about HFGWD Presents: Spooky Stuff that Won’t Go Away Because You Like to Pretend it’s not Happening.

 1.   Ghosts, obviously.

2.   Depression, of course.

3.   Relationship problems. If you keep ignoring them, they will mutate like a virus, like deadly, weaponized viruses that destroy everything you hold dear.

4.   Real friends. I literally cannot get rid of some of you.

5.   Pain in your body. If you ignore your body, she will scream at you in all sorts of interesting ways    including, of course, depression.

6.   Bullshit teenagers trick-or-treating without costumes.

7.   Carbs.

8.   Voicemail.

9.   Your beautiful, ancient, feminine intuition.

10.  Insomnia. Not sleeping is the fastest, most effective way to go insane.

11.  Falling in love.  Being in love.  Being afraid of love and doing it anyway.

12.  Implicit bias. Let’s accept that it’s a thing so we can move on and stop pretending we “don’t see color” or “treat boys and girls the same.”

13.  Feelings. Your feelings are just information created by your mind to bring about change. If you keep ignoring them they will eat your brains and melt your internal organs.

14.  Your children.

15.  Other people’s children.

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